The New York Times declined to comment, stating  "This is Will Philips. I think you have the wrong email."

"I've done everything I can for him."  -Satan

"Ask him to stop referancing me."  -Ann Frank

"I stand corrected."  -Charles Darwin

"He's the worst thing we've ever experienced."  -Sandy Hook

"I'm finding it difficult to avoid him."  -Dan McCort

"                                                               "   -God

"Who?"  -Dennis McCort

"On the question of cultural value, I defer all my questions to the right side of Jacky's head."  -JFK

"He referances people he knows nothing about."  -Julie Andrews

"His voice is arguably the slowest sound has ever travelled."  -Albert Einstien

"Not enough people appreciate my name."  -Galileo Galilie

"He has no following."  -Moses

"I grab him wherever."  -Donald Trump 

"He's not a good fit for us."  -Karl Marx

"He might not even exist."  -Pluto (former planet)

"He owes me $000,000,000,006.99"  -Bill Gates

"I feel misunderstood."  -Adolph Hitler

"I'm sorry. What is not worth my time? is the correct answer. That puts you in 3rd."  -Alex Trebeck

"He spoke at our school, right before we installed metal detectors." H.W. Smith

"Wish you were here."  -Guantanamo Bay

"He's not too bright."  -Thomas Edison

"Edison's a rube."  -Nikola Tesla

"Mostly overrated and incomprehensible."  -William Shakespeare

"Mediocre"  -Alexander the Great

"I couldn't see."  -Napolean Bonaparte

"Do it. See what happens. I dare you."  -Muhammed

"I didn't mind the 2 drink minimum."  -Jim Jones