Stand up comedy
dan mccort

" I love this, it's absolutely hilarious and ruthlessly honest."

 - Nathan Kappesser (Fair Point Podcast) 

"Daniel, I haven't finished it [Audible Toxicology] yet because I'm busy as shit right now but I'm about 25 minutes in and you are a dark, hilarious gifted writer dude! So talented. I will watch more hopefully this week. So funny man."

- Tom Segura 



“Amazing video” -Gaming With Dan

“Omg I laughed so hard at this! Keep it up! =)” - Deadhead Dev

“Best video I've seen in ages, thanks for sharing!” - Mr B

“Hilarious.” - Lisa Claire

“They should put you on roasts” - Jacob Owens

“I laughed out loud a few times in this video (and the second part) and It's not easy to make me laugh. A good idea to come up with a few of my own. Can I really use these if I want?” - Mishels in response to my 99 insults video.

“Why isn't this going viral?” - Margery H Smith

“I can't wait for more”Dorothy J Posner

“Wow.. so glad I found this! ” Brandon Harvey

“Blessed to Find This” - Edward Farrell

“I just signed up from your link. You are awesome!” - Susana Hays

“I see this kid going far” - Rachelle Loggins

“GENIUS pure and simple thank you.” - Jason Smith

“You literally have a Phd in comedy. You have an amazing insight on stand up and I got a lot to learn from you. Thank you” - Christopher M Dolak

“Hey Dan, I think your page is funny. Keep it up.” - Cory Anderson

“HILARIOUS” -Adam Charles

“ROFLI HATE ARBYS!!!”  -Edward George  (Rolling On The Floor Laughing) 

“LOOOOOL!!!!! subscribed and want more :) you're good” - Thomasz Kulawinski

“Dude that ending was hilarious” - Kaiser Squidward Mapping

“God damnit Dan, you had me with that Muslim ring.” - fedi takeli

“I'm loving the videos” - Jason Dillingham

“Love this video” - Jason Borden

“I love this chanel” - Jacob Owens

“Extremely well spoken.” - Jeff B

“This is dangerously insane stuff.” -Mark Lucas

“That was awesome!” -Michael Vigil

“Yep,You’re worse than Hitler” -Gordon Livingstone

“Nice commentary dude. You speak the truth in an entertaining way.” -MERK MAN

“Welp. I'm sold… Subscribed.” - Conner Emer

“I love you! Hahaha this video is amazing thank you.” - Moms Spaghetti

“Deal breaker: not laughing at Dan McCort vlogs.” - Thom Quinn 

"You are awesome," -Susana Hays




Dan McCort would rather not write about himself in the third person, alas, the general trajectory of his work has not garnered the type of representation that accomplishes supporting tasks typically assigned to other professionals. 

Dan McCort has been a comedian for whatever number of years you find appealing.He is a professional amateur, most known for being “blank-slate” anonymous. 

His work has been described as, “Sir, we can only offer a store credit if you don’t have a receipt.” -Goodwill

For a can of pinto beans, nonperishable, undented, Dan can teach your parrot to say the N-word.

When asked of his bidding strategy if chosen from the lot of zeros composing your typical Price Is Right audience, Dan said, “I would bid one dollar higher than another specific bidder, repeatedly, until I got punched in the face. Then I would file a suit or several garnering a-long-term-unemployment amount.” This was followed by a string of incoherent, anti-Semitic ramblings inciting a contempt of court.

Email Dan and win a chance to go fuck yourself.

With a forward booking fee of one 10-strip of Acid, he is available for children’s parties approximately 90-minutes after payment (Provided amplification that exceeds 100 yards).

He has covered a wealth of groundbreaking topics including: the difference between men and women; the difference between black people and white people, women take long in the bathroom, marriage, airline food, 72 virgins jokes, blank-price-blank-price-blank-priceless, self-deprecation, politics topically popular done in a slightly pretentious way, things my kid says, pot, self-promotion including how to buy his shit after the show, “Dan is known to also poorly play a shitty instrument on stage as a detriment to, not only his comedy, but the medium in general, as well as being a remarkable disservice to music and the collective, cultural tapestry of humanity. But he over-dramatizes the end of these intolerable chunks of artistic sewage until the overwhelmingly disappointed audience feels imposed to remarkable discomfort if not applauding. "When I saw this, he then closed by stealing a joke from another comedian, told earlier in the very same show, until management cut the mic and he was later seen crying to a bouncer who was encouraging him to go to rehab for, from what I heard is a rather alarming PCP addiction." -Rehab

You may have seen Dan McCort on Extra with Mario Lopez, or on pills behind the wheel.